top of page

I cry almost every day

May 14, 2020

Lockdown has been a gift and incredibly frustrating. I’ve been scared and also discovered a sense of harmony that was buried before. With the simplification of daily life and realignment of priorities, things are making more sense and I feel like the world is recovering from a great lie.

Here in New Zealand, lockdown is more or less lifted and it’s the first day of Level 2. This means that life can continue almost as before. We are busy “popping the bubbles''. Here at my husband’s family home where we live, things are back in full swing with meetings scheduled in person - we even had a playdate.

My husband and I are sad to see isolation go and the ‘business as usual’ atmosphere feels too good to be true. This is a rare, privileged experience that sees New Zealand fulfilling its reputation as utopia. We can go on while the rest of the world continues to battle.

Within our own home, we continue to look for equilibrium in all things but rage and sadness surface regularly and I cry almost every day. My husband and I try to find time to work but more importantly, try to find time to meditate, practice yoga, eat less bread and sugar, drink less alcohol, play, love, and the hardest part – be peaceful parents.

As I write this, my toddler, Theo, screams down the hall in unbearably fitful tears, my grandmother says something to him about getting his father, and I have August and Astrid (5-month-old twins) on my lap. One or both just did a poo, August’s nails however short still mine my arm for gold and Astrid just spit up all her milk. But I did have a wonderful bath yesterday.

As my brother says, Stay Strong ~




bottom of page